Just one person.

Starting off my post with an embarrassing picture of my
middle school days, haha!

As I find myself bringing my last semester of undergraduate courses to a close, I find myself reflecting a lot on my past, fearing for the future, but still wishing, and working hard.

As I look back, I realize...I've done a whole bunch of stuff. This part may sound like I'm bragging, but I really am proud of the things I've accomplished.


At the age of 18, I completed a two-year licensed practical nursing program in high school that made me eligible to be a nurse. I've been to a psychiatric ward, labor and delivery room (and watched a baby be delivered on several occasions), witnessed surgery first-hand, and even visited a morgue. There was more to it, but those were the experiences that took the cake for me. At that same time, I was also interning at Girls for Gender Equity during my senior year of HS, a non-profit organization that promoted sexual harassment awareness in the public schools of NYC.

I've literally been working every summer since I started college. Although it's no big deal, I pay most of my own personal bills (i.e. cellphone...Sprint robs me, every month like clockwork, hah), and have some expenses when I start my new school semesters. Though it's usually part-time, I can honestly say I've never spend my summer time 'not doing anything'...I've yet to even go on a vacation (I plan to change that though, when I graduate in May). On top of that, I've been able to gift myself certain things, such as my limited edition Star Wars XBox 360 (I'm proud of that, dammit).

I completed my first two years of college at  Penn State branch campus kind of in the middle of no-where.
If it's one thing I learned from going there, it's survival. I also got the experience of the small-town life, and just what it's like. During the time, I also struggled with determining whether or not I wanted to continue nursing as a career choice, and ultimately ended up changing my major to Rehabilitation and Human Services, transferring up to Main Campus to complete my major requirements. Unlike most people, I was stuck taking 6-7 classes every semester, because I needed to complete the nursing requirements. In the end, when I switched majors, I had taken so many classes that I would've graduated early.

I moved to Main campus, and it's been upwards from there. I become more involved with school, attending different conferences, doing different volunteer projects. Fast forward to today, I'm finishing up my last few days of my undergraduate career. For the new year, I begin an internship at a small personal care house in my college town. At the same time, I'll be working as a direct support professional for people with intellectual disabilities. For the summer, I look forward to my third summer working as a camp counselor at a camp for people who are blind/visually impaired. I also look forward to studying to take my nursing exam (way late on it) and my GREs for graduate school.

I could go on and on. But for the sake of being deemed a narcissistic, I'll stop here.
I can say that my life has been far from easy, and it isn't up until recently I've been able to look up to the mistakes I've done in my past,  and forgive myself. At the same time, it hasn't been until a few years ago that calm finally settled over my life, and I decided to do everything in my power to enjoy it.

And I am all but one person. There is so much I want to do and accomplish, I don't even know where to begin. I feel as though a part of me has just been stumbling through life, kind of like someone who has a whole bunch of items in their arms that are falling, and they're scrambling to pick them up and keep the pace.

For now, I guess my main focus is trying to pass this Abnormal Child Psychology final.
But seriously. I have so much to tell people, so much I want to let them know about what I've been through. There are so many emotions within my heart, bubbling over the crevices of my very being. Yet, for the sake of understanding that people go through so much themselves, I willingly censor myself and help everyone else.

I know the feeling of being completely alone. I know the feeling of not being able to talk to someone about the things you go through. For this very reason, I take it upon myself to be the listener of everyone else's stories. I want to be there for everyone, to help them through their tough times, lend them a hand, be that shoulder to cry on.

But I'm just one person.

Now as I sit here, reflecting on my past, I can't help but smile. I also find it ironic that I'm posting this as 2013 comes to a close. A few more weeks, and it will be a brand new year. Another couple of weeks, I'll be 22. More goals to accomplish, more people to help, more things to see, more maturity to come. Can't wait.

Happy-almost-end-of-finals week ya'll :)