I looked through my blog today, feeling like I should update it, since it's last been a while. I just couldn't figure out WHAT to update it with. One of my friends did on her Facebook notes, this 30-day letter thing, that I decided I wanted to take up on as well...I mean, it looks like something to pass the time. The only reason why I wouldn't want to do it is because since I start school in about a week, I dunno if I'll be to busy to keep up with it...but I'll figure it out as I go along.
SO.....5 DAYS. I can't believe it. 5 days, and I'm leaving the house that I've lived in for 13 years, to a dorm [more like a suite] with 4 other random strangers. 5 days, I'm leaving behind my father and brother, to pursue something for myself. I have to admit, I feel both happy, and yet nostalgic at the same time. Although my father is an asshole at times, when I sit down to think about it..he's done alot of shit for me, and he's really the only parent I have left. Although my brother annoyed the hell out of me, and I could say that I hate him easily...I love him like crazy. It wasn't his fault he turned out that way, and it isn't until I matured I realized, I can't hate him for the way God made him. Someone told me I tend to take the philosophical approach to life, and I do believe so. Although my brother annoys me...I love him all the same, and I wouldn't have him any other way. (I think I repeated myself 3 times, LOL) My other brother, although has moved out and is living on his own, doing his own thing...apart of me still misses him, and I still look up to him at the same time.
I wanna know how things are gonna work out, now that it's just going to be my brother and my father in the house..but I know if I think of that, I'll want to stay behind and help-out. But I'm tired of putting my wants and needs on hold for others, so that way I can make things easier for them. For once, I wanna think about me, and solely me. Sometimes I feel selfish when I say that..but in all honesty, I've learned to realize my one bad habit. When there's trouble for someone else, I easily forget about myself, and try to figure out how I can help out the other person. Even if it hurts me, I do it, just as long as the other person is happy. Sometimes, I think that's why my relationships never lasted long. I was so willing to let go, thinking that he would be happy...when sometimes, maybe all he was asking was for me to hold on longer. But that's a whole other story, harhar.
So, to keep things all bright and sunny....I STILL haven't finished packing yet. I received my new clothes just on Friday, and I'm about to put them away. Cleaning my room is one hell of a chore, because for some reason, when I'm done with one part, another part gets dirty as well. So after a while, I gave up. I don't have much time to be "giving up", considering I only have a short amount of time left. This last week is going to be filled with me trying to accomplish last minute things, such as getting my wisdom teeth removed (T___T) and food-shopping at Costco.
I ordered my textbooks as of yesterday, and I'm hoping I did the right thing, with sending them to my house. If anything, I'll just ask my dad to send them to me as next-day mail, or whatever they call it..
Ahh, I gotta go clean my room..it's looking more like a tornado hit it each day, although the reason as to why it does is because the person who was supposed to help me out bailed on me. But it's whatever, I can handle it on my own. Peacee guys!
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